Episode Transcript
Hello and welcome. This is the Change Series, Chapter 1. My name is Darren Bennicke and today we’re going to look at what it means to get things in the right order. And what a feel-good first philosophy means and what it can do for you.
So right off the bat, have you ever tried to change the way that you do things or changed a habit or tried to start a new routine or a new plan? And you might have started off alright but then after a while you end up kind of right back where you started from. You know, you’ve got the same thoughts, you’ve got the same feelings and emotions and the same outcomes. Only each time you try to change you come back with a little less belief in yourself. Your sense of self-worth takes a bit of a hit each time.
And you might think that it’s a willpower problem, that it’s something that you’re doing but I’m here to tell you that it may not be. That it could just be that you’ve got things in the wrong order and that in order to change if you get things in the right order it becomes a heck of a lot easier. In fact it becomes quite natural.
So in this first chapter of the Change Series I’m going to be talking to you about why we keep trying to build new solutions with the same old identity. And I’m going to give you a real life example of what happened when my chronic back condition many years ago forced me to stop, become aware and start to feel what was going on in my mind and body. And why feeling good first changes everything that comes after that.
So the problem is that we don’t feel good. That’s what it all boils down to. We don’t feel good about ourselves, we don’t feel good about the life that we’re living and we want to change. And so we look for answers and we try to change what we’re doing and we try to change our actions and our behaviors. And there’s literally a huge amount of answers out there on the internet and so we pick one. People say, you know, do this, make these steps and you’ll get this outcome. So we try it and you know, like I said, maybe it works, maybe it doesn’t. Might work for a little while and then we tend to think that we’re slacking off and that it is because of our lack of willpower or our lack of commitment that things haven’t changed. And we end up right back where we started from and then we start to look for the next solution or maybe we just give up for a little while.
So what happens the more and more we try to create these changes and the more and more they don’t stick, we end up just becoming more stressed, getting more overwhelmed, feeling more deflated. We end up with less confidence, less motivation and even less belief in ourselves.
So why does this keep happening? Well, I’d like to put it to you that in order to change, we actually have to create the right conditions first. So if you’re stressed and you’ve got these repetitive thought patterns going through your head, you can imagine that there’s this build up of charge in your system. And if we then go and try a different path, we’re taking that same identity with us, that same charged state with us. We’re just applying it to a different set of steps and a different set of behaviors. So we’re trying to create new solutions with the same old identity.
So if you go to work every day in that beat up, clapped out piece of crap first car that you’ve ever owned and decided, “Oh, I want to get there in more comfort and more style,” but you just kept going in that same car, nothing’s really going to change. And it’s the same with our feeling state. Like if we don’t change our feeling state first, and I’m going to show you exactly how to do that. It’s all for free on my website. But if we don’t change that identity first, then nothing new can come in.
And I was in the same boat. So I was trying different jobs, I was trying different ideas, different practices. But I still kept coming back to the same old me and the sense of shame and the worthlessness and the doubts and the thoughts and the repeating patterns. And I wasn’t getting anywhere. I had very little success. If I did get any success, it didn’t last because the same old thoughts and the same old feelings would keep coming up.
It wasn’t until I actually was forced to look at my life because I had a chronic back condition. My back literally went out for two years. I was in agonizing pain and I had to retrain myself to move. And so I had to become aware of everything that I was doing. And what happened when I did that was that I started to notice things. I started to notice that there was this charge in my body and that I was always stressed and tense. And then I started to see how that played into my thoughts and my actions and my behaviors. They were all tied in together.
Now when you go to my website, there is a video that perfectly shows you how this works, how this mechanism works. How this mechanism works about thoughts and feelings and how they’re connected. I call it the Energy Balls video only because that’s how I was first taught it. But you start to see this connection between your mind and your body and your awareness. And by bringing awareness to your mind and your body, you actually get control of it.
And so as I started to become more aware, I started to find these pathways and I realized that the path that took me there was the same path. I just would do it in reverse. And so I started to remove all this tension from my body. Not only that, as you start to clear away that charge and as you start to sort of come back to what I call the neutral state. You start to get a better sense of who you are because all that energy that you’re using to sort of deal with all those thoughts and those feelings and the stress and the anxiety and all of that. Once you start to regain that energy and regain that awareness and regain that presence, your capacity increases. And you are better able to get a sense of who you are. And so you can begin to define who you want to be.
But without that capacity, without that sort of sense of clarity, nothing is going to change. It can’t. You’re full. You’re full of tension and stress and charge and anxiety. Once you start to clear that away, the solution actually starts to present itself. So you’re not forcing change, you’re creating the right conditions that allow that change to occur naturally.
And one of the biggest takeaways that I got from that time when I started to redevelop my own sense of self and that sense of awareness was the importance of connection. And that connection to who you truly are can only happen when you get rid of all the crap that’s getting in the way. So when you start to clear away all that charge and all those old identities that you’ve been sort of carrying all through your life. Once you clear those away and get into what I call the neutral state, which I’m on the site, I’ll show you exactly how to do, then things become clearer.
So this is where the shift occurs. The old belief is that, you know, and this is, it’s not like, this is literally how things are promoted to us. Take these new actions, take this new pathway, try these new behaviors and that’ll make you feel good about yourself. If you just do this and this and this and this and this, then you’ll feel good. But the thing is that you’re already starting from a position of not feeling good. So you’re taking that into each of these new actions and each of these new pathways and each of these new behaviors. So how on earth are you meant to change?
But if you just focus on feeling good first, and I’m going to go into that in a second, what that actually means. Because when I say feel good, I’m not talking about, you know, jumping up and down and fist pumping in the air and like, you know, that woo hoo, yeah, somewhere. That’s not what I mean by feel good. As you start to raise your awareness, as you start to develop these connections with your body, and it starts in the body, not the mind, it starts in the body. Because your body reads what’s happening in your life. And again, if you go to my site, I show you exactly how to do that and it’s all for free. There’s no payment gateways with any of this.
But you want to enter this feeling state and feeling good is quite, if someone was to ask you right now, “How are you feeling?” And you go, “Oh, you know, if things were going okay,” you go, “Oh yeah, I’m all right.” See, there’s no like amplified kind of excitement there. It’s just, “Yeah, I’m okay.” Or if things aren’t going well, you’re like, “Oh, well, you know.” And it’s literally that simple. It’s like a switch. It’s like, do you feel good or do you feel bad? That simple.
And once you get this sense of what feeling good is, and by that, I mean it’s just coming back, bringing yourself back to a neutral state. And a neutral state just means that you’re not bound to any one type of thought or feeling or emotion or pattern or behavior. You’re winding it back into this and freeing yourself from the charge, so the emotional charge that comes along with all that stuff. And you start to enter this neutral feeling state.
So what changes? This isn’t an extra thing to do. It’s not an exercise. It’s not a tool. You’re literally removing, okay? And as much as when you go on the site, you’ll see, you know, I run you through the whole process. And there’s these things called minutes to mastery. And that’s basically teaching you and showing you how to follow that return path. So for things like, you know, stress and anxiety and overthinking and being overwhelmed. You don’t just arrive there, okay? There’s a pathway. There’s a series of steps, whether you’re aware of them or not, that take you into these states, into these stressful states. And once you can identify the state and the path, you can just reverse it.
And as much as the minutes to mastery are sort of these, you know, four, five, six, seven minute videos at the most. They’re a slowed down version of what’s possible in an instant. Now I have in the past made the claim that you can change instantly and you can. It’s normally the lead up and the follow through that takes the time. But the actual, you can change your mind in an instant.
And so being able to access this feel good first philosophy and access this neutral state and access this removal of charge and stress and tension and accessing a state where you feel good. It becomes a decision and it becomes just a series of quick decisions. And that decision is just to shift your perspective and again, go on the site and I’ll show you exactly how to do that. It’s very, very, very simple. In fact, at first it might seem too simple, but believe me, if you just practice, practice, practice, you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly. After a short amount of time, you’ll start to see noticeable differences.
So what are we doing when we’re making these decisions and shifting this perspective? We’re allowing success to emerge and what does success mean? Success literally just means to continue. And so if you can access this neutral state, then you can continue.
So when you know that you have this stable baseline, so this neutral state that you can go back to it anytime, it gives you an incredible amount of freedom. It gives you the clarity to actually, because if you’re full of all these thoughts and feelings and emotions and stresses and tensions, how the heck are you meant to think clearly? How the heck are you meant to make a decision when you’re just so full of this charge? You can’t. But knowing that you can just come back to neutral and with a little bit of practice, you can do it near on instantly, that gives you a sense of peace and a sense of freedom. Because it gives you the time and space that you need to figure out the very next step. And that’s all you have to worry about.
As I’ll show you, as we go along with the change series, you’ll start to see that there’s a very different way that you can implement these changes and allow these changes to occur naturally. And these aren’t just words, it’s all based on models that I’ll show you. It’s all based on principles that I can share with you and I don’t hold anything back. But that time and space, it gives you relief from the pressure and the doubt and the uncertainty that’s causing chaos in your mind and body. And once you get that relief, then you can work on the release.
So when I was dealing with my back pain and figuring out how to wind things back and into this neutral state, which I’d kind of known about for a little while, I just didn’t know how to get there. And so that’s what I’ve spent a couple of decades trying to figure out. And I’ve got it. It’s a very, very workable method that I have and it’s very simple and anyone can follow it.
But once I realized that I could go back to that neutral state and I knew that I had that stable baseline, I knew I couldn’t get any worse or wouldn’t get any worse. And that if I did start to, then it was just a decision. I just had to shift my perspective. And I always used to say that you can feel good no matter what and live a meaningful life of its. And I mean that. I stand by it. Because at any moment you can just make that shift. You can come back to that natural state, that neutral state, and you can allow the change process to occur naturally. You can find this sense of balance and you can feel good about yourself.
Again, it’s not this over the top, you know, pump your fist in the air that we’ve basically been indoctrinated into thinking has to happen in order for you to be successful. I mean it’s all throughout social media. You know, all these people and you know, if crowds of people cheering them on, that’s not what change is about. Okay. Change is about knowing that you can stabilize yourself and knowing that you can’t or won’t get any worse. And then from there we can look at the next steps.
So in the next chapter we’re going to look at asking the right question. Because there’s plenty of answers out there. There’s literally more answers than we know what to do with. So if it was only finding the right answer, we’d be sorted, wouldn’t we? So maybe it’s not the right answers we’re looking for, but it’s the right questions. And maybe that it is about going on your own personal quest to find those answers. The answers that you need, not what the answers that other people think you need. And with this process that I’ve developed, it simplifies that. And it allows you to figure things out for yourself because your mind and body already know what’s the right path for you. And if you stick with this, I’ll show you exactly how to do that.
So that is the end of chapter one. And like I said, in chapter two we are going to look at the asking the right question. And knowing what the right path is, what the right decision is, and what the right choice is. And to know with absolute certainty. So look out for that in your inbox, and until then, please go and check out my site. Connect with me via social media, join my email, and jump on board and start to develop your own living practice. And you’ll see how life can become more than what it is now. Just by bringing awareness and connection to everyday living. Over to you.
