Episode Transcript
Hello and welcome back to the Change series. This is Chapter 2, The Right Question. Now if you’ve ever found yourself putting things off or second-guessing every decision that you make or jumping impulsively from one decision to the next just to get it over with and just to make it feel as if you’re doing something. I’m going to put it to you that it’s not because you don’t know the answer. What I’ve found is that it’s because you’ve got nothing solid to base the decision on. We touched on this in the first chapter so today we’re going to go a bit deeper on that and we’re going to look at the difference between direction and destination and why looking for the right answer actually keeps you stuck. And then we’re also going to look at what it means to let the mind define and the body decide.
So we all procrastinate. We all put things off. We’re unsure of whether we’re making the right decision or what direction to go in and we look outside of ourselves for these answers. But as we talked about yesterday what normally happens is because we’re in these sort of made-up versions of ourselves we’re trying to cobble all these pieces together. It becomes a bit like a Frankenstein machine and so then we look for another answer and we try to tack that on. What’s happening though is that we just don’t — we get to this point — we just don’t trust our ability to make the right decision because you know we’re sort of not being ourselves.
So what ends up happening is we either do nothing or we put things off or you know we make poor decisions or we make impulsive decisions just to make it feel as if we’re moving. And again as we talked about yesterday when these things don’t pan out we end up back where we started from so we remain stuck. As much as we might seem busy there’s no real progress and we begin to suffer the consequences of those poor decisions and we end up feeling frustrated, angry, hopeless, our sense of self-worth drops and we start to think that there’s something wrong with us.
So why does this keep happening? I’m going to put it to you that it’s a lack of connection. Again we talked about this yesterday that if you are not — if you are in these kind of put together versions of yourself, these charged versions of yourself, these where your awareness has been shaped for you and you’ve been forced either through expectation or your own kind of value system into these versions of yourself that don’t feel right and don’t quite make sense — then you’re missing a very very deep connection to this neutral feeling state and to this — to your own reason for being here.
So what that means is you’ve got nothing to base your decision on because it’s made up of these false assumptions and these false versions of yourself and then you’re trying to sort of attach these other versions to that and it doesn’t make sense. When you come back to the neutral state, when you remove all that charge and all that tension and all those other versions of yourself, you connect to your deeper why, your deeper reason for being. You make that connection first with your body and then you can feel what the next step is.
There’s a video that you can — you’ll see it in the — in the email and the link you’ll find there and it’s to the energy balls video and this is a perfect way to understand and have a deep experience of this connection between mind and body and how each one of us has their own reason for being and it’s a felt state. You can feel when it’s right and you can feel when it’s wrong. So the energy balls video will show you how to do that.
So I was always looking for answers. The next thing. What’s the — am I doing this right? Am I doing enough? That was the big thing. Do I — am I doing enough? Should I be doing more? And so, you know, I was constantly on the lookout. I was constantly reading books and I was constantly watching videos and looking for the next tactic and studying this and taking courses and getting guides and and it’s like, oh, is this the right thing to be doing? About like, as soon as I started to do it, it just didn’t feel right.
So what I’d come to this sort of understood with this mindset that I have to do what other people doing to succeed, but then, as I said, when my back went I started to tune in to my own sense of self and my own — what my body was trying to tell me and what my own mind wanted and what — what made my mind animate and what made my mind peaceful, and I started to listen to what that my body was telling me. And so my body was producing these calm states whenever I did a certain activity, and I was like, okay.
Even this morning, as I was got up, I was like, oh, I’ve got to do this and this and this. And then I went, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Bring it back. Come back to neutral. The key is to meet the moment. That is the number one key. You have to meet the moment. And the reason I talk about asking the right question is for exactly this. You have to ask the question of the moment. So if you’re not — if you’re unsettled, the first question you need to ask is not what I have to do and, you know, what are the steps I need to succeed. You have to ask yourself in that moment: what’s happening right now? What — why am I having trouble meeting this moment?
And the way to do that is to learn to describe your problems rather than name them. When you can describe — again, if you do the energy balls video, you’re going to get a good taste of this, and and you’re going to learn how to describe what’s happening in your own world in terms of texture and tone and feeling. And by doing this you actually get a greater connection because you’re tuning in and you using your body and you’re allowing your body to do what it’s here to do, and that is to interact with reality.
Most of the time we’re stuck in our head and we’re stuck in trying to find the right answer and, you know, what’s the next step and, you know, what do we have to do. We’re not in our body. We’re not — we’re sort of glossing over the top of what our body’s trying to tell us. Our bodies trying to us: wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, you’ve got too much going on, you need to come back into neutral so that we can make this connection and then so I can — we can sort of navigate and find what the right direction is.
So as your mind and body start to connect, this different kind of awareness emerges and it’s much clearer and it’s focused on just this moment. And what it does it is, it’s perfectly designed to show you what the next thing to do is, and then you just sit in that.
So as I started to connect my mind and my body and and increase this self-awareness and this connection, I started to sort of find my own why, what I call your energetic signature. So I began to sense and feel what the right decision was for me. Because if you look at at your friends and family and other people, if you were to sort of just get a, you know, a snapshot of a particular person, what their vibe was, you can see perfectly well what they’re here to do, what they’re best designed to do. Like, if you look at that person and then you go, and they’re doing what they’re meant to be doing, you’re like, well, of course, they wouldn’t be doing anything else. That’s who they are. That’s a perfect expression of who they are.
So it’s the same thing for you. We’ve all got this seed within us, this energetic signature that is perfectly positioned to allow us to express the best version of ourselves, but we have to be able to access it. So learning to ask the right question of the moment allows your thoughts and feelings to align.
So the most important distinction I feel that you can make is to forget about the destination and just work on the direction. So what direction do I need to be going in in this moment? And if there’s distortion there or turmoil or, you know, a charged emotional state, what do I have to do to clear that state so that my direction becomes apparent? So we come back to that neutral state, and your your energetic self is constantly trying to make itself known. It’s trying to communicate if we just allow it to do so. And in the third chapter of this series we’re going to look into that that that idea of rather than forcing things to happen is allowing the natural expression of our being to come out.
So the shift — the shift is from the idea that if you just find the right answer that everything will work out fine, that that, you know, if things aren’t working out for you it’s just because you haven’t found the right answer or that you haven’t understood the answer that’s that’s been given to you. Like we talked about in chapter one, there’s there’s enough answers out there. There’s literally, you know, millions of people on the internet sharing their experiences and saying, you know, if you just do this, you know, it’ll work out. This is what I did. That’s the thing. This is what they did. And yes, sometimes you can take that on board and you can marry it to who you are, but if you’re relying solely on those steps and on that that particular answer to solve all your problems, you’re gonna come unstuck.
Asking the right question allows the right answer to emerge. So what comes before the answer? Like, it’s it’s that simple, that you have to ask the right question to get the right answer. It’s — it can’t be any other way.
So we hold all these options in our mind, and we can only do that from a neutral state. We can only do that from a settled state of clearness and clarity. And then we can — and it normally only comes down to one or two things — but we allow these — we allow the mind to see the bigger picture and then we let the body decide, because the body is going to tell you if something’s right for you. It’ll feel right. If something’s wrong for you, it’ll feel wrong. You’re already experiencing that, because the paths that you are walking down don’t feel right. They don’t make sense. They don’t fit. It’s your body already telling you that. That’s what stress is. That’s what anxiety is. That’s your body telling you you’re not on the right track.
And the the pressure and the tension that we’re experiencing is our mind and body trying to bring us back. It’s not the actual thing that we’re in. It’s it’s our system trying to bring us back to neutral that’s causing all this tension and stress. If we just let it go — and that’s what the whole idea behind letting it go is, only no one’s told you that. That’s not — you know, you can’t just let it go. That doesn’t help. You’ve got to wind it back. You bring it back to neutral. That’s what the — it should be called winding it back rather than just letting it go.
So as you start to remove the stress around decision-making and and wondering whether you’re making the right decision, as you start to wind it back and just sit in the moment and just worry about the next step and the direction that you’re moving in, you start to remove all the charge and you start to remove all the pressure and the tension, and you start to see things clearly and you start to feel things clearly. So you get this sense of inner peace, and that gives you enough relief to just take the very next step.
So some of the questions that you — that are good to ask yourself is: what’s happening in this moment? And just sitting in that moment. Sometimes that’s all it takes. It — it’s just to allow your system to settle and then just to sit in that little sweet spot.
It’s like when you’re surfing. The power is in this little sweet spot in the wave, and if you see it just ahead of that, you don’t really have to do much, and that’s the whole game of surfing, is sticking in that. It’s called the pocket, and it’s this tiny little ball of energy that you — that you can play around with. It’s the same here. Like, too often we try to get out ahead of the wave and we’re worrying about, like, what’s the, you know, 25 things down that we have to, you know, do in order to be successful, whereas if we just sit in that pocket and work on our connection with that pocket. If you think about it, you can only ever do what you’re doing in the moment. You can’t do things 25 steps ahead. You can only do what you’re doing in the moment, and and if you don’t get that right then everything else coming after it, it’s gonna fall in a heap. So if you don’t have that connection at the get-go, everything else coming after it, it’s gonna be false.
So as you sort of start to connect with, again, the neutral state, the neutral state opens yourself up to connecting with your energetic signature, and you start to feel right. You start to get this sense of inner peace and relief, and you start to get inspiration. Inspiration means to breathe in. Motivation just means to move. So you need to allow things to come in and then move with that. Not beyond it, not to the left of it, not to the right of it. Within that.
So the result for me is, once I started to just trust and sit in my own being, I started to move ahead, and all I did was sit in the moment. I met the moment where it was at. I didn’t make any grand plans, and I stopped making the same mistakes because I knew exactly what my next step should be, because I was in it. There was nothing else I could do.
So this morning when I woke up, I didn’t think about my day. I got up, I made my coffee, and it just — I naturally sat down at the computer and I naturally turned it on and I naturally looked at what — at what this next element of the chain series was about, and then I just pressed record. Now, was there any procrastination? Yes. Was there any feelings of doubt? Yes. But I worked through that. That’s what I had to do to get there. So I sat with the energies and I brought myself back to my neutral state and I connected with my sense of self, my energetic signature.
And again, this isn’t a highly excited state. Your system settles. This is what success is all about. It’s about settling into the moment and meeting the moment where it’s at, not thinking 27 steps ahead, staying with where you are, staying in your body, allowing that feeling state to become real, and then sitting in that feeling state. So this isn’t about fake it till you make it, okay? It’s about feeling it until the connection is made.
All right, in the next chapter we’re going to look at the right response and how there is a a different way of getting things done rather than using force and act and willpower. Once you connect to this energetic state, you can just allow things to come out naturally. But that’s in the next episode.
For today, I would strongly suggest you go and do the energy balls video and start to learn to describe what’s happening in your life rather than naming it, and this will start to open up this connection to your body. And once you start to connect to your body, your mind will start to settle and it’ll start to align and it’ll start to become clearer, and the decisions that you need to make will be made in the moment, and they’ll be the right decision because they will feel right, they’ll make sense, and it will fit like a glove.
All right, till then, go to the site, start working on the Minutes to Mastery, your return path, learning to come back to that neutral state. Start learning to connect and listen to your body, using your mind to sort of describe and define rather than name, and and working with your body in terms of what’s happening in the moment for you and what needs to happen. Start connecting with and identifying your energetic signature, and just start to play with it. Just start to increase your awareness on a daily basis and just feel what the different things feel like, what different situations feel like, what different experiences feel like, and start to question what those moments are all about and what they mean to you. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Just worry about asking the right question for you in the moment. Okay, over to you.
